Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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