i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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