Small penises have feelings too.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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