dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Hippo gnu deer
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
