In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
