I wanna bring you to show and tell
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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