I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
