Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
