I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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