Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
