Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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