Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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