I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
