how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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