this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
