Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
