I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
