You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
