What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
