bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think a kid would responsible me up
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
