the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
