he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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