Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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