It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
