We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
