Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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