wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
