i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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