I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
