yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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