Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
