she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
