Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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