i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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