This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
