"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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