I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
