I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
