is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
