Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
