You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
