Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
