i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
