grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
