Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
