his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
