What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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