May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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