3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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