just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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