I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
