well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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