i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
