Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
