I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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