Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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