yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So vagazzling was a success
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